We both knew this day would come, when I would be forced to testify, to confess our conspiracy and reveal the naked body of evidence in all its seductive sedition.

I have aided and abetted you as a willing accomplice for so long now that there is no more felony left in my soul.

Yet I will not perjure myself with words dredged deep out of the mouth of another.

Nor wil I bear false witness in a hostile second skin.

Rather, I will enter the kangaroo court lip-synching mercy, stuffing innocence into pockets of new testifying pants.

(Dedicated to Stuie, who never had to wear those pants.)